I had the most ghetto fucking car about 7 years ago. It was a 1991 Honda Accord - We called it, "The Shit Brown Honda O'Doom." It had a 2.2/5spd with 145k miles, 12 Ohio winters, and no A/C when I got it. I drove that bitch 30k in 2 years and never changed the oil once. Because if you let it sit for a week it would leak 3 quarts of oil, if you drove it 200 miles at 80 mph it would burn 3 quarts of oil. If you drove it 200 miles at 79 mph, though? It would burn 1 quart. I just bought oil by the case and left it in the trunk with a funnel.
That thing was ghetto as fuck when I got it. The shocks, and springs had collapsed so it looked mad lowered. It had four steelies and some cheap Firestone all seasons. One time, I got a flat and it was cold as balls outside. So, I jacked the car up, swapped on the spare, threw the lugs on, and took off to get the tire fixed. As I was driving I heard this wonky noise...Then BOOM! The wheel fell off and I see it roll past my passenger side...I drove 150 feet on three wheels, with my brake drum dragging the ground. I hopped out, jacked the car up, found 4 spare lug nuts in the trunk (that's how ghetto this car was, when I got it, it had 6 spare lug nuts in the trunk, WTF?), put the wheel on - TIGHTENED the lug nuts and kept driving.
Then once I took the car driving with my university car club - I got the brakes so hot, I welded the spindle nut to the rotor, so when I went to replace the rotors and pads a few months later (because I broke a brake pad), I couldn't. So...I just threw new pads on that bitch, bedded them in and kept driving. Same trip I got the clutch so hot from doing burnouts in a high school parking lot, that we jacked the car up, loosened the bellhousing up in a parking lot and knocked material off the clutch to make it grab again.
In the summer the car wouldn't start, because the solder Honda used in their relays would get hot and get soft in the summer. So, I kept two starter relays. One in the house, in the freezer, and one in the car and would swap them out, always leaving one in my pocket or something.
The rear windows wouldn't roll up all the way in the car, without "helping" them. The trunk leaked water when it rained. The holes in the rear fenders you could put your fist through. And I blew a head gasket racing a Nissan 230SX on the freeway.
I got the car for free from an ex-girlfriend's dad and sold it 2 years, 30k later, for $100 cash.
Fuck I miss that car sometimes. I took my wife out on our first date in that car. I drove it up to a really fancy restaurant here in town once that only had valet parking, to meet my sister for dinner. The chick I was with (super hot piece of Latina tail, sorry no pics) was like, "Are you leaving this car with the valet?!" I hopped out of the car, tossed the valet the keys and said, "I know where all the scratches are, my man." Then tipped him 5 bucks.