Lists

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vejatabul
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Lists

postby vejatabul » 10/14/13 @ 13:24

I like to make lists.

I make lists of things that I like. Then, I reference that list, and I begin to look at it objectively. Then, in a fit of rage, induced by the thought of ever entertaining a real opinion, I bring to the surface, hate. I find everything that I can possibly muster to explain why this shit that this asshole likes, is absolute rubbish. I argue myself until I exhaust possibilities, and then, I begin to find arguments to explain why in fact anyone would want to cherish something so loathsome. Without going into a five-thousand word long diatribe, I shall instead make a list.

Favorite song: Warren Zevon, Werewolves of London.
-Why? Because werewolves be stylin' and intermingling, and it might just be a metaphor for racial integration. Is it really my favorite song? Fuck no, that's godamned stupid. I don't have a favorite anything, especially some shit fuck song about some mythical creatures chillyb' the fuck out in civilization.

Most hated song: Hotel Cali-Idontgiveafuckwhosingsit.
-Why? What, are you kidding me? Nothing makes my urine boil in the base of my torso, thereby poaching my fucking prostate quicker, than the first two notes of this classic pile of excrement. Lots of people like it? Well fuck me, lots of people like to procreate, and I don't see me running out into the streets to proclaim my presence on Earth, thereby perpetuating my influence on the planet, by creating a genetic parasite to carry my DNA around. But kids are adorable! Yeah, so are puppies, and they grow up to be beasts that wither and decay in front of your own eyes, like a proper plebeian entity should, and not outlive you so that they might be passed on to someone else because you are too dead to watch over them any longer. I was talking about a song? Yeah, that song sucks fuck.

Most nothing: everything.
-Why? Because there can be nothing, unless everything is nothing, in which case, nothing is everything that we are, and we are everything that means absolutely not a damn thing. Does that make sense? No. If there is no sense in that statement, and the statement is still true, which is a possibility, then "No" would be the best/worst possible fit for an answer. You want resolve? Here is your resolve...
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Derek
donated to the club!
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joined: 10/02/13 @ 09:58
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Re: Lists

postby Derek » 10/14/13 @ 15:04

vejatabul wrote:I like to make lists.

Most hated song: Hotel Cali-Idontgiveafuckwhosingsit.


image


I just made a list of the school districts to which I'm going to be attempting to submit my resume next year...and it's daunting.
1990 Miata, SNC 1.6, DIY Randall, R-Package Lip, Overnight parts from Japan.
1979 XS650, far from stock.
1995 Sportster, 'merica. Wrecked.
2007 Sportster, 'merica 2.0.
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vejatabul
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posts: 234
joined: 10/01/13 @ 15:21

Re: Lists

postby vejatabul » 10/14/13 @ 15:31

I could sort that list for you. Post it up, and I will dissect it in the most irritably irrational manner possible, which is just a ploy to allow your list to decay into something I might wallow in.

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