[NSWF] shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

where you read and write shit while you shit
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[NSWF] shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 10/23/13 @ 18:36

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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 10/23/13 @ 18:38

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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 10/23/13 @ 18:38

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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 10/23/13 @ 18:41

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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 10/23/13 @ 18:42

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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 10/23/13 @ 18:43

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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Sploinkin » 10/23/13 @ 18:43

You seem to have some digestive issues.
phillyb™ wrote:and we still listened. just proving once more that cpb is cooler than your gf
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 10/23/13 @ 18:45

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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 10/23/13 @ 18:47

Sploinkin wrote:You seem to have some digestive issues.


i really do
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby john90 » 10/24/13 @ 14:45

I think you might need some more fiber in your diet. I can't believe I clicked on this
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Highschool » 10/24/13 @ 23:26

Best. Thread. Ever.

I'm gonna go vommit meow.
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Highschool » 10/24/13 @ 23:28

I can smell it from here.

What's up with the horror movie ones that look like they hit the bowl @ Mach 1?
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Teejay187 » 10/25/13 @ 17:35

john90 wrote:I think you might need some more fiber in your diet. I can't believe I clicked on this


My. Thoughts. Exactly. Glad I hang on 4chan so I don't get sick of this shit
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 10/25/13 @ 17:51

Highschool wrote:I can smell it from here.

What's up with the horror movie ones that look like they hit the bowl @ Mach 1?


iSplat

Teejay187 wrote:
john90 wrote:I think you might need some more fiber in your diet. I can't believe I clicked on this


My. Thoughts. Exactly. Glad I hang on 4chan so I don't get sick of this shit


literally. hahahaha
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Teejay187 » 10/25/13 @ 19:18

My first thoughts of this thread was: I hope someone sees this in the morning and it ruins their whole day! This must be phillyb™`s diary(reah)! I might use this as a reference to describe the width of our forum!

Edit: I can see a match in one of the pictures. It must be pretty bad if you light a match, man.
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby john90 » 10/26/13 @ 10:26

It looks like you may have caught your hand with that wipe a bit. This is what I'd show someone asking "What's so great about VP/Elite?"
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 10/26/13 @ 11:50

hahahhaha!!
it's not unheard of for me to wear a hazmat suit with a shit hole in the back...
that shit is toxic...

teejay, they ALL require matches!
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 11/08/13 @ 08:53

currently viewing this thread from the shitter
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Mazduh » 11/08/13 @ 10:33

I got 3 posts into this thread and had to stop... :suicide: I scrolled really fast to get to the bottom to make this post... I hate you all. Eat better damnit.
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby vejatabul » 11/11/13 @ 12:15

There is a lot of scatography in this thread.

So, here is a pic of me shitting in a cats litter box as he watches, about ten years or so ago...

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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Sploinkin » 12/09/13 @ 19:28

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Soft serve yellow nasty shit. I haven't been well for a few days and this is what comes of it.
phillyb™ wrote:and we still listened. just proving once more that cpb is cooler than your gf
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby mx5militia » 12/15/13 @ 18:11

Has anyone else ever plucked the hell out of your ass hole hairs while being in the shower? I experimented with this last night, wiping after shitting today was so much easier. no stupid dingle berries or hairs that can be soaked in shit.
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 12/15/13 @ 18:13

plucked? no. interesting though.
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby mx5militia » 12/15/13 @ 18:16

just reach back there, grab a pinch full of hair with your fingers and yank. repeat a dozen or so times. its quite painful, but we're miata owners, we're use to it.
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 12/15/13 @ 18:18

i've shaved my asshole and noticed how much easier it was to wipe. but shaving ass is kind of horrible when it starts growing back in plucking may be different.

on that note, @jackhatesphillyb just shaved her ass. i'm going in!
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby mx5militia » 12/15/13 @ 18:21

plucking pulls out the follicles, so growing back time is much much longer.


hey thats awesome! have fun!
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 12/15/13 @ 18:25

she's so against the a, but she shaves her butt so it looks good. what a silly girl. i love her.
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby mx5militia » 12/15/13 @ 19:58

nothing wrong with that. personally i've never tried a. but thats great that shes thinking of you as you plow her from behind.
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 12/15/13 @ 20:09

she's the best
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby mx5militia » 12/15/13 @ 20:53

ITS THE BEST SPORTS CAR. JACK IS THE BEST GIRLFRIEND!!!
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Sploinkin » 12/31/13 @ 22:06

This thread is AMAZING with the fireworks. Thanks @Teejay187!
phillyb™ wrote:and we still listened. just proving once more that cpb is cooler than your gf
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Teejay187 » 12/31/13 @ 22:30

No problem :D This thread with fireworks is so wrong.
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Hi as tha skigh » 01/01/14 @ 15:01

oh fuck yeah, a shit thread! I think somebodies attempt at this on clubroadster got shut the fuck down.

ratemypoo.com is still better :phillyb™:
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 01/08/14 @ 16:49

just redid all of the pics to make sure they weren't huge.
resized all of them.
rehosted.
meow this thread won't take days to load.
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby TistheJameson » 01/19/14 @ 23:51

Afternoon dump

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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Skinny » 01/25/14 @ 07:02

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In 30 seconds you'll be dead and I'll be home in time for Corn Flakes.
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Mazduh » 01/26/14 @ 03:07

Some late night stomach rumbling
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Skinny » 01/26/14 @ 06:34

mx5Militia wrote:Has anyone else ever plucked the hell out of your ass hole hairs while being in the shower? I experimented with this last night, wiping after shitting today was so much easier. no stupid dingle berries or hairs that can be soaked in shit.


Body sugaring. Its like wax, but better. Shaving sucks, I also dont like razors next to my balls.
In 30 seconds you'll be dead and I'll be home in time for Corn Flakes.
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby phillyb™ » 01/27/14 @ 18:46

fucking wood toilet seat. hahahah
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Re: shit thread. yes, shit. aka poop, dookie, #2, etc...

postby Skinny » 02/06/14 @ 04:20

http://jalopnik.com/this-is-the-most-em ... 1456846301

Just over halfway through the flight, all the coffee in my stomach feels like it's percolating its way down into my lower intestine. I hunker down and try and focus on other things. What feels like an hour, but probably isn't more than twenty minutes, passes. We then enter what turns out to be pretty violent turbulence. With each bounce, I have to fight my body, trying not to shit my pants. "Thirty minutes to landing, maybe forty five" I try and tell myself, each jostle a gamble I can't afford to lose. I signal to [the flight attendant] and she heads toward me.

"Excuse me, where is the bathroom, because I don't see a door?" I ask while still devoting considerable energy to fighting off what starts to feel like someone shook a seltzer bottle and shoved it up my ass. She looks at me, bemused, and says, "Well, we don't really have one per se." She continues, "Technically, we have one, but it's really just for emergencies. Don't worry, we're landing shortly anyway."

"I'm pretty sure this qualifies as an emergency," I manage to mutter through my grimace. I can see the fear in her face as she points nervously to the back seat. The turbulence outside is matched only by the cyclone that is ravaging my bowels. She points to the back of the plane and says, "There. The toilet is there." For a brief instant, relief passes over my face. She continues, "If you pull away the leather cushion from that seat, it's under there. There's a small privacy screen that pulls up around it, but that's it." At this point, I was committed. She had just lit the dynamite and the mine shaft was set to blow.

I turn to look where she is pointing and I get the urge to cry. I do cry, but my face is so tightly clenched it makes no difference. The "toilet" seat is occupied by the CFO, i.e. our fucking client. Our fucking female fucking client!

Up to this point, nobody has observed my struggle or my exchange with the flight attendant. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." That's all I can say as I limp toward her like Quasimodo impersonating a penguin, and begin my explanation. Of course, as soon as my competitors see me talking to the CFO, they all perk up to find out what the hell I'm doing.

Given my jovial nature and fun-loving attitude thus far on the roadshow, almost everybody thinks I'm joking. She, however, knows right away that I am anything but and jumps up, moving quickly to where I had been sitting. I meow had to remove the seat top – no easy task when you can barely stand upright, are getting tossed around like a hoodrat at a block party, and are fighting against a gastrointestinal Mt. Vesuvius.

I manage to peel back the leather seat top to find a rather luxurious looking commode, with a nice cherry or walnut frame. It had obviously never been used, ever. Why this moment of clarity came to me, I do not know. Perhaps it was the realization that I was going to take this toilet's virginity with a fury and savagery that was an abomination to its delicate craftsmanship and quality. I imagined some poor Italian carpenter weeping over the violently soiled remains of his once beautiful creation. The lament lasted only a second as I was quickly back to concentrating on the tiny muscle that stood between me and molten hot lava.

I reach down and pull up the privacy screens, with only seconds to spare before I erupt. It's an alka-seltzer bomb, nothing but air and liquid spraying out in all directions – a Jackson Pollock masterpiece. The pressure is meow reversed. I feel like I'm going to have a stroke, I push so hard to end the relief, the tormented sublime relief.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." My apologies do nothing to drown out the heinous noises that seem to carry on and reverberate throughout the small cabin indefinitely. If that's not bad enough, I have one more major problem. The privacy screen stops right around shoulder level. I am sitting there, a disembodied head, in the back of the plane, on a bucking bronco for a toilet, all while looking my colleagues, competitors, and clients directly in the eyes. "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" briefly comes to mind.

I literally could reach out with my left hand and rest it on the shoulder of the person adjacent to me. It was virtually impossible for him, or any of the others, and by others I mean high profile business partners and clients, to avert their eyes. They squirm and try not to look, inclined to do their best to carry on and pretend as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening, that they weren't sharing a stall with some guy crapping his intestines out. Releasing smelly, sweaty, shame at 100 feet per second.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry" is all the ashamed disembodied head can say…over and over again. Not that it mattered.
In 30 seconds you'll be dead and I'll be home in time for Corn Flakes.

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